Compassion through times of grief

Recently I suffered two bereavements within three weeks of each other and the subtle differences between them surprised me.

Much as other strong emotions have facets and flavours within them, as does grief.

Which led me to explore grief based emotions as they arrived.

A family bereavement evoked huge sadness, tears (many, many tears) the experience of deep loss, followed by waves of anger and frustration. Then a lack of focus and concentration, which is current as I write this.

The other loss of a dear friend a week later, I experience as extreme sadness. I reflect on our relationship through all our adult years, the ebb and floe of together time, sharing meditation, yoga and compassion. Our memories and current experiences of motherhood and supporting other families and women. She was the wisest of friends and, when I asked her advice, said "I don't give advice, I listen" and I truly value that rare quality in her and know that she continues to listen.

I think the threads that weave us together remain but, just as in tapestries, through time details fade and are repaired or lost to vagueness. The tapestry remains although less vibrantly coloured, we understand that the details unfurling are never fixed and that death is part of this narrative.

I have been sitting with myself, appreciate the true bravery and compassion needed to sit with oneself, to hear that inner noise and just listen. To observe that as it abates a clarity emerges however painful.

Our restorative practice is to offer deep compassion, extend kindness to oneself, true kindness; quiet time, restful time.

To reach out with honest to those we love and who love us and simply tell them so.

The greatest gift that grief has brought to me, to us, is love.